flower

this flower is very small and i enjoyed making it.  i just fixed left over pizza and a bowl of soup for his breakfast, but i had half a sandwich that was in the fridge.  our eccentricities have been exacerbated by circumstances that only those past the age of 55 can imagine.  or, anyway, most would have to have reached that venerable decade to understand how eccentricities can be exacerbated by circumstances ultimately beyond one´s control.  i looked at cameras.  he wants me to buy one, thinks i have earned one, a really good one.  but i cannot quite convince myself that the old one is finished.  it took the above picture from across the room, however the sun was shining and that helped.  i want a life without obsession.  big sewing projects drive me, spur me on, and it´s the same with photography.  it isn´t only taking pictures and handing them over to the drugstore to send away.  it´s time spent working over every photograph.  the above picture had to be sized, the color heightened, contrasted, color reduced, sharpened.  and saved.  then retrieved for this page.  easier than scanning a print, needless to say, but at my age i am beginning to break it all down into choice.  i enjoyed the needle, the thread, the wool, all the wool at my wooly age, which is not so wooly.  when i refer to myself as old it makes people laugh, but i do sometimes feel ancient.  ah well, so are my thoughts this morning.  and though i did spend the time to re-find the camera i would buy if i bought one, i won´t buy one.  the money spent would be a little tyrant forcing me to get my worth out of the new machine whereas the price of the old one was long ago absorbed.  he, husband, will look disappointed when i tell him.  he does so want me to buy something extraordinary for our anniversary, but he is the extraordinary element in this anniversary, so very very extraordinary.  when i see all these young women running around parading their feminism i can only pity them and wish that those feminists who have managed both successful career and long, happy marriage would tell the truth, which is that they have simply been blessed with a very beautiful man.

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