behind the candles

i see

a face like an owl,

quickly i change it

for a picture of myself

when i was thirteen;

elaine found it

going through mom´s things;

she sent it by email,

but i need no digital reminder,

i have always remembered

the day

they dressed me up

like a doll

and i thought,

oh no,

i won´t be their doll

ever again.

the barette in my hair,

the lipgloss,

the white carnation lei on my chubby

shoulders;

there i am in the picture

making life decisions,

caught;

even in the eyes

there is a flaming disgust

for perfume.

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